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Me Time: Embracing Solo Travel

2 months ago

“To be alone with yourself is to be in good company.” – Maya Angelou

A friend recently mentioned that she is planning a solo trip to Europe, and while she is excited, she is also feeling a little trepidation about how her experience will be by herself. As much as I love to travel, I can totally relate.

I don’t think anyone who knew me as a twenty something would have identified me as fearful.  I left my hometown to go to boarding school, moved abroad, lived in a big city, and generally put myself in the path of life and new experiences.  That said, the prospect of traveling alone was terrifying, and I delayed a lot of happy adventures for lack of company. 

Lucky for me, I eventually got my travel buddy roster staffed with a solid team of professionals, one of whom I married and two of whom I made…

Recently though something changed, and I’m not sure what or why.  Maybe I just have more travel under my belt, more confidence, less of a need to have my experiences validated, or just an appetite to unapologetically own my own agenda. Whatever the cause, the switch got tripped and solo travel has become a gift I am just now unwrapping.  

If you are a woman, it’s likely that one of your top concerns about traveling alone is safety, and there is a lot of good advice out there on that front.  I’ve listed a couple of articles below with some comprehensive thoughts on seeing the world while remaining secure. 

For today’s lecture though, I am sharing some new-ish thoughts on how I maximize this precious solo time on the road from a personal level. How to feel the best, how to treat yourself like a VIP and how to get the most out of each day. Ideas to add? Please share!

Note: these ideas are mostly for travel in urban or relatively populated destinations. If you’re going solo into the wilderness (you badass), I might not be your person yet (or ever?).

“Alone time is when I distance myself from the voices of the world so I can hear my own.” – Oprah Winfrey

ATTITUDE AND ATTIRE

  • General thoughts. This time is yours.  Be gentle with yourself, but stretch yourself a little.  Take time to think about where you are, how you feel, what is easy and what feels challenging.  Be brave.  Notice things around you.  Learn about your destination. Don’t forget to eat.  Sleep a lot.  Keep a journal, take lots of photographs, bring a sketchpad, write yourself notes.  
  • Are you staying a few days?  Buy yourself flowers for your hotel room.
  • Pick a good book for your trip.  Can it be related to your destination?  That’s always fun…
  • I hail from a land where the local mall sports no less than six athleisure brands. Red yoga pants are fashion forward in my world. I do think when you’re traveling it’s fun to dress up just a little for every day. Trot out that cute outfit you haven’t worn yet, etc. You feel a bit more confident, and looking sharp earns you a wee bit of clout in restaurants and shops.
  • Do not however sacrifice comfort for fashion especially in the shoe department. Like, go as nice as you can but sad feet really put a damper on your day.
  • Bring a lightweight folding tote bag like these from Rock Flower Paper that you can jam in your bag but unfold to carry over your shoulder. You will inevitably pick up a book or some postcards or a couple of silly gifts or some tasty something for someone back home or all of the above, and it is nice not be laden down with paper shopping bags.

MORNING

“I have measured my life with coffee spoons.” – T.S. Eliot

  • Breakfast is easy to navigate alone as many hotels offer breakfast buffets, or you can grab a bite in a casual café.  Better yet, research a great artisan coffee shop, bakery or smoothie spot in your neighborhood.  Eat some protein.  You need fuel for your fun day ahead.
  • Explore!  The fun of traveling alone is not having a rigid agenda.  Create a daily wish list that can tolerate some spontaneity and then say yes to tempting side quests if they cross your path.
  • Be friendly!  Shopkeepers and other vendors are usually very warm when you say hello/ciao/bonjour/hola/kon’nichiwa/as-salamu alaykum, and most are happy to share local recommendations or tips.  Some will even let you practice your atrocious (insert relevant foreign language here) 101 on them without wincing.
  • Learn!  If you’re going to a major site, a museum or an historical location there are always a range of tours, usually in many languages.  Start by seeing what the institution you are visiting has scheduled, as there are often great docent-led tours available. This is a great place to spread your wings.  Are there things you’re interested in that your usual cohort never wants to do with you?  Explore them today!   

LUNCH

“First we eat, then we do everything else.” – M.F.K. Fisher

  • Note to self: don’t forget to eat!  You need to keep your strength up for all this happy meandering. 
  • Also, may I recommend you adopt my blanket travel policy – NO bad meals!  Find something delicious.  Treat yourself. 
  • If you don’t want to sit down in a restaurant, find something awesome to go and take it to a lovely park or green space and read a book or watch the world go by.  Street food, and food halls are plentiful in cities these days.  Lunch should be YUM. Don’t skip it (like I sometimes do because I lose track of time…)

REST

“Wisdom is knowing when to have rest, when to have activity, and how much of each to have.” — Ravi Shankar

  • Don’t run yourself into the ground.  Travel is energizing but it also drains your tank if you don’t pace yourself. Your brain needs time to process, your feet need up-on-a-pillow time, and your body needs water (drink water!), and no matter how much you try to deny it jet lag is real.  This is YOUR time. Take a nap for heaven’s sake.

EVENING

“At the end of the day, if I can say I had fun, it was a good day.” – Simone Biles

For me it feels little easier socially to be out and about alone during the day, but with a little planning you can fill the evenings with a lot of great experiences too. 

  • Check the local listings for cultural events. Take in a play. Find a cool movie theater. Go to a lecture. Find a gorgeous historic theater and catch anything that’s on. Even if you’re not a huge opera or ballet fan, the ambiance is worth it.
  • Museums are often open late one night a week and are less crowded and sometimes even free during these hours.
  • Food tours are an excellent way to learn about the local culture, meet locals and get great recommendations for the rest of your visit.  I like to do this early in a trip so I can return to resample yummy things in the following days.
  • Take a cooking class that includes a market tour.

DINNER

“6:30, dinner with me. I can’t cancel that again.” — The Grinch

Dinner is the tricky meal as it can feel awkward to sit alone at a table while everyone around you is socializing.  I am a food-driven girl so I cannot skip dinner just because I feel a little weird sitting alone! 

  • Make a reservation.
  • Arrive before the rush so you can be charming and negotiate a good table.
  • If the restaurant has an open kitchen, ask to be seated where you can see (or maybe even interact with) the chefs at work. 
  • Sitting in a booth feels more cozy than adrift in the middle of the room, or if the weather is nice sit outside where you can enjoy some good people watching.
  • Ask your waiter for recommendations or details on the menu, the chef, special drinks, etc.  You’re here to learn and experience!
  • If the restaurant is not formal, bring a book, a guidebook, a notebook to scribble thoughts or sketches from the day, and to outline fun plans for tomorrow.  
  • Try to stay off your phone.  No judgment, but theoretically you’re in a special place and if you’re glued to a screen then you’re missing something!
  • If you’re still feeling nervous have a gratitude pep talk with yourself, mentally reviewing the best parts of your journey, anything you learned about the world or yourself, and whatever you’re looking forward to.  And remind yourself that literally no one else cares that you’re eating alone.
  • Every now and then a club sandwich from room service and a bath and a movie in bed in my pjs is a pretty tough plan to top.

“I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.” — Henry David Thoreau

RESOURCES

BON VOYAGE!!

“Spend some time alone every day.” – Dalai Lama

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